After taking the first half of 2018 to grind away all my debt, I finally have the peace of mind and freedom I need to get back to writing. It has been a while since I was able to maintain some consistency with my posts because I was infatuated with freeing myself from my self-administered shackles.
One evening last week I noticed it was particularly beautiful out so I decided to go for a drive. As I pulled out of the driveway it really hit me: I am driving a car that I have paid for twice and is now officially mine alone. I started laughing and smiled. It is absolutely surreal. Life has always been pretty good, but now it is getting great.
I drove around the town I live in and have for my whole life and saw things in a completely different light, with a sort of confidence that was completely foreign to me because I had never felt it before. Everything I saw made me light up with possibility. I looked at the nicer homes and thought to myself that I don’t have to compromise, that I can have the exact home I want. My little bit of zen in an uncertain world.
It has also occurred to me that now I can be completely unhindered in my quest to visit more of the world. All I need to do is make a plan for a destination, set the budget for the trip, save aggressively toward the goal, and take the leap. The best part is, I won’t have to feel like I ruined 6 months of my life because I bankrolled the whole thing with debt. It will just be a straight forward victory in every regard.
Happiness has been admittedly elusive in my first 35 years, but 36+ feels substantially different. I am at ease with my place in the world, and I only see things improving from here on out. This is my life, and I will no longer be a spectator.